My Pain

My pain started with my ex-girlfriend. She was my first love, my first outlet, my first true life. I put my whole heart into the relationship with her. Although I feel it is her fault were not together, I know it's not. I made a mistake in that relationship, I put both feet in the water before I knew the temperature. I burned myself in that relationship not her. I even had many chances to start over with her, but even then I made many more bad decisions, I decided to fight with her. I prayed for chance after chance and we would fight every time. Now I pray I could just get rid of all of the pain. Every day I wake up feeling great but no matter what I do or where I go there is something that reminds me of her. I spend atleast thirty minutes everyday thinking of her, thinking of our good times our bad. I still know the one text messege that started this pain all I had to do was play it cool, but I decided to fight a battle that cost me the war. In that fight my mind covered my heart, my anger that was building from stress took control and she was the first target seen. She hadn't wronged me is the story my memory tells so why did I wrong her my analytical mind can't process.